===What is Marriage in Ithir===
Marriage is a social contract between two individuals and their families as well as a spiritual contract between two individuals and Baridon. The social contracts exist as a way of strengthening a family, establishing alliances, or simply to support the happiness of an individual. The spiritual oath made between two individuals in front of Baridon exists as a binding spiritual contract between those two individuals.
===The Marriage Process===
So, you've found a potential spouse. Congratulation! Now what? In Ithir, there are social norms that dictate the marriage process from kinship to kinship, such as the Thalerith duel to see who will marry in to which house, but generally speaking the process goes as follows:
- The couple secures the approval of their Head of House. This happens simply by having a conversation and expressing your intent to marry. A Head of House may have some stipulations attached to their approval, but it is generally considered bad form to stop a marriage from happening completely.
- Once approval is achieved from both Heads of House, a proclamation of intent is made. This can be done by either the Head of House or the couple posting an official engagement and intent to marry proclamation.
- The ceremony! A ceremony must be held including a Priest of Baridon. In that ceremony, oaths are given before Baridon by each member of the couple. Please use the oaths code for this so it may be tracked. If a PC priest of Baridon is not available to marry someone, an NPC priest can be used. Do note NPC priests of Baridon will not marry people in secret, or against the wishes of the Head of Houses. PC Priests are free to make their own choice, but, they risk angering the Houses involved.
- When the ceremony is complete, oaths given, simply +request to staff to have names changed, rooms moved, marriages documented etc.
Q: What happens to my reputation if I marry in to another kinship?
A: You will deduct 60 respect and affection from the kinship you are leaving and 60 will be applied to the kinship you are joining.
Q: Can my HoH object to the marriage?
A: Yes, they can. But objecting to a marriage is not a good look for the HoH and may suffer social consequences for objecting.
Q: Can I marry without telling my HoH?
A: If you find a PC priest willing to take the risk, you could marry without telling your HoH. But, this is extremely bad form that can carry heavy consequences for everyone involved. A Head of House could decide not to accept the newly weds into the House, forcing them to find a House willing to take them in. Due to the importance of bloodlines for Lorandi, it is unlikely for a Lorandi House to take in someone that has lost their house, while Faenor would be heavily reluctant to do so.
Q: Are negotiations thematic?
A: Negotiations are thematic, but it should be noted that we don't have a concept surrounding dowry or monetary compensation for a marriage contract. Negotiations usually include things like an agreement for alliance.
Q: Are negotiations different for the Heir of a house?
A: Yes. As an Heir to a Faenor of Lorandi House, it is your responsibility to ensure the success of your house over your own personal happiness. It is possible for an Heir to marry out, but it would require finding a reasonable replacement before it would be allowed.
Q: Are negotiations different for a Head of House?
A: Yes. Head of Houses in all kinships are expected to put the needs of their houses before their own personal happiness. Commonly, those marrying a Head of House will marry into the House of the Head of House, rather than a Head of House marry out. There are exceptions, for example, two Head of Houses wanting to marry each other. During such negotiations, care must be taken to ensure there is someone available to take over the House. This is particularly important for Faenor and Lorandi, where house succession is often connected to bloodlines. Disregarding the wellness of a House in pursuit of marriage by a Head of House carries very heavy social penalties.